Sunday, May 15, 2011

Bitesize fiction. "No"

"No..." she said politely when he offered her a drink.

"No, no..." she argued when he brought her chocolates. He looked at her slim frame and tried again. The answer was a nervous "No", emphasized by a shake of her head.

"No!" she hung up the phone annoyed. She thought to herself that, if he were to call her at work one more time, she'd have to call in sick for a week. Maybe even request a transfer.

"No." she stopped him a few metres away before meeting on the street. He looked morose, turned around and walked away.
"No!" She slammed the door in his face and he was left alone on her doorstep, a rose in his hand.

"No!" she laughed drunkenly. "No." she repeated with a smile, but still kissed him.

"Nooo..." Her head was throbbing with a bad hangover and the lights were simply blinding. He gave her a pill and a glass of water. "No..." she protested feebly, but took the pill anyway. He rubbed her shoulders gently and let her sleep.

"No!" her cheeks were red as she vehemently protested to any innuendo made by her workmates and friends. Of course she wasn't dating that guy. They just kissed at a party, that was it.

"No..." she tried to protest tiredly when he called to ask her out again. She could do better than that, couldn't she? "No!" She hung up.

"No..." the flowers fell from his hands. His mouth fell open. She was with another man, looking quite happy. "No no no..." he trailed off, realising he had had no chance to begin with. She noticed him and tried to call back to him as he was darting away angry and frustrated. "No!" but he was already out of sight.

The phone was quiet for a few weeks, so was the doorbell. Nobody to say "no" to anymore. Tears started pouring down her cheeks when she realised she missed him, missed saying "no" to him.

"No" he turned away from her, pretending to go back to work. "No!" he said firmly against her explanations and excuses. She left. He raised his eyes and watched her go.

"No" she said when he ordered champagne. He had decided to accept her apologies and asked her out to dinner. He nodded as the waiter poured the champagne, a glint in his eyes.

"No" he stopped her before she could take a sip. He got down on one knee and retrieved a small box from his pocket. Her face turned a bright red and a tear trailed down her cheek. Her answer this time though, was no longer the dreaded "no".

Friday, May 13, 2011

Give yourself a pat on the back, a hug, a slap on the face. Be your best friend.

I have been a very stubborn person, ever since I was small.
I would set my own personal rules and abide them strictly. There were things I didn't like and wouldn't do under any circumstance - eat certain foods, listen to certain music, wear certain clothes that were in fashion.

Sometimes, I applied those rules to other people as well and also pointed out to them that they were doing "wrong things" and that I would never do that.

I was so happily perched on my high horse, I didn't realise I was often a nasty person and a very difficult child. Just ask my mother.

I eventually started changing. I had the tendency to do things that would break my dear rules. Unfortunately, there was a huge battle going on between who I was supposed to be and who I wanted to be. I began to notice that I had few friends and even they thought I was a bit too much at times.

I believe that my ego went to smaller and smaller pieces after each person I fell for. I learned that not everyone should play by my ridiculous rules, not even me. I learned to listen and try to understand others' point of view too. I learned that love has no boundaries and no price and nor did I.

I still have a few nose turns here and there and have set a few new rules for myself. Self-discipline is often in order, so I don't become a stupid useless sloth. But I hope I'm a more bearable person overall.

My fiance is ready to put up with me for a very long time. My mom is also putting up with me. I made a few friends over the time too. Lesson well learned, perhaps?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

How do I put this...?

Spring - rejuvenation. Fire - passion. Hercules - courage. Romeo and Juliet - love.

Symbols are the root of our language. If we remove the little connective words between them, we would still be able to understand one another at some level. Some meanings have been lost, some altered. What once meant war now means peace. Each day, with the people and events that become important to our society, we gain more symbols. Communication is dynamic, but it is also strongly related to our culture.

We send little "messages" into space, hoping that, whoever out there might receive it, they will understand. Who we are, where we come from, that we wish to communicate. We might be successful in being understood or we may not, but we certainly hope so.
Even within our own minds, some notions have different meanings. Some are afraid of clowns, while some are amused by them. Childhood traumas can turn into phobias that would mean nothing to other people.

We each have an opinion and our own feelings on every subject imaginable. Still, we are able to communicate and understand one another, partaking in a bit of the other's own inner vocabulary.

Maybe one day, when the time comes, we could establish a fruitful means of communication with cultures very different than ours, as humans.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Spring green

I like spring - it is my favourite season, when everything suddenly turns green, the flowers explode on the tree branches and the birds start chirping outside.

Spring is nature's season; everything wakes up from hibernation and starts a new year. There have been a few showers these days and we're expecting sunshine next week, with a few plans of going out to the park, doggie and all.

One of grandmother's guard dogs. The petals are from a big pear tree in the garden.
A few years ago, actually, many years ago, an old man from our village told me this saying "Who hasn't planted a tree in his life can't call himself a man". Of course, in Romanian it sounds nicer and it rhymes: "Cine n-a plantat un pom nu este pe lume om".

So, dad and I decided that we should both plant a few trees in grandmother's yard. We bought a few young trees from the market and armed ourselves with spades.

Dad planted a couple of apple trees and a quince tree, but only one apple tree survived (we've always had huge piles of construction wood in the yard; my grandfather used to make barrels for a living). I planted an apricot tree and a linden tree.

When I was a very little girl, my grandparents had a huge old apricot tree in front of the house. It made sweet little apricots which I loved, but had to be cut down because it could have fallen on the house.

My linden tree was incredibly tiny and crooked. Grandmother always laughed at it, but I did find it propped up with a stick on a later visit. She tried to water it and make it grow tall and straight, but it died quickly.

My apricot tree thrived and grew this way and that. It eventually started making a lot of apricots, but these were the big kind and were often attacked by parasites. Still, I'm very happy to say I planted my own tree.

My apricot tree in the back garden. To the left, the goat/sheep shed, to the right, some scallions.
And I do hope to have the occasion to plant more trees.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Beyond the canvas

What if the human body were elastic like a membrane? What if we had to change our appearance more drastically than the mere phases of age?

There is a theme common to several science fiction stories. One being living in symbiosis with another, which provides it with a body, a voice, transportation. The "parasite" would be the actual soul and personality.

I have seen a very interesting Star Trek episode, where love endured through several of these body changes. The conclusion was though that, as humans, we have difficulty seeing beyond mere appearances.

Are we? What if your lover were to become ugly, completely different, change their gender in an instant?

We make ourselves look more handsome or beautiful. We try to stay fit and young and we wear nice clothes. There are many doctrines that say we should love others equally, yet they look at homosexuality as a sin.

Are we appearance-biased? Some of us a lot, others, maybe just a little.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Petty crimes

Appeal to the sympathy of the public and they will feel that your opponent has committed a crime against something they hold very dear. Make your enemy look immoral and unethical in other people's eyes and they will stone him to death. You will not have to throw a rock even.

It sounds cruel and strange and dreadful. Yet, it happens everywhere around us, often without us knowing it. Sometimes, we're the public, we're throwing the stones, judges in a subjective courtroom. Sometimes, we're the ones pointing the finger.

There is no conclusion to this. There never is.
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