Thursday, March 14, 2019

Bitesize fiction. Intruder alert

"Captain, this is Lt. Rosar from Engineering. I regret to inform you that we have an intruder on board."
"An intruder? Who is he?"
"We had only been seeing signs of his presence all day, but now Ensign Vasquez could swear she saw him scurrying behind the hyper drive."
"Scurrying?"
"Yes, sir. The intruder is a mouse. Most likely sneaked in during our last supply run from the granary planet."
"I see. Are you able to apprehend it?"
"It has hidden in the tiny ventilation shafts, we have no way of reaching it. Permission to set up mouse traps?"
"Granted. Request help from Security if needed. I think the Chief has a pet cat."
"Noted, sir. Rosar out."

***

"Captain, this is Lt. Rosar again. About the mouse we saw yesterday..."
"Go ahead Lt. Have you managed to catch it?"
"Unfortunately, no... It has been eating all the bait from the traps without springing any of them. We tested the traps, sir, they are in perfect working order. Ensign Vasquez is in sickbay with a bruised finger from testing them."
"Do not put the people at further risk, Lt."
"Aye, sir. Also, Chief Dallon's cat hasn't been much help either. The mouse ran right in front of it twice and Mr Fuzzy Whiskers didn't seem to register it, just continued to groom itself."
"Mr Fuzzy Whiskers?"
"That is the cat's name. We also searched the computer library and found all sorts of ingenious traps, but the mouse either didn't spring them or just avoided them completely."
"Well, Lt, please keep at it. We can't have the mouse running around chewing on the conduits."
"Aye. Rosar out."

***

"Lt. Rosar, come in."
"Rosar here, sir."
"Status report on our rodent problem."
"Still nothing, sir... We have yet to catch him."
"Well, my mother told me about a trap she used to set and always caught the mouse with it."
"I am listening, sir."
"Take a walnut in the shell, split it in half and use one of the halves to prop up an overturned bowl. Keep the split edge turned towards the inside of the bowl. Make sure you set this up on a flat pane, so you can pick the whole thing up."
"Your mother is a wise woman, sir. I will send Ensign Vasquez to the supply bay right now after some walnuts."
"Glad to be of help. Good luck, Lt!"
"Thank you, sir. Rosar out."

***

"Captain, Lt. Rosar reporting."
"So soon? Have you caught the mouse?"
"Indeed we have, Captain. Your mother's idea worked like a charm. We have the little rodent in confinement. It is very small, that's why it could get away from the traps."
"Damage report. I'm worried about those conduits."
"We have scanned the entire area, nothing has been damaged, no power leaks or short circuits. It seems we fed it so well from the baits, it didn't want to chew on any equipment after all."
"Good news."
"Sir, permission to debark on the next landing. I would like to set our mouse down on a field somewhere. We didn't want to kill it - after all, it hasn't caused any damage."
"Permission granted. Our next supply restock is tomorrow. You may release the mouse on the granary planet."
"Thank you, sir. Oh, and send our thanks to your mother."
"Will do."
"Rosar out."

***

"Ensign, the Captain said we can release the mouse tomorrow when we land for restock. How is the mouse?"
"Oh, Lt., it is just fine. I have put it in a small box and drilled some holes in the lid. I also took a photo to show my little sister back home. She loves cute furry animals."


"That is very lovely, Ensign. Now, where have you put the box?"
"It is on that shelf over there, so it is not in the way."
"... Ensign..."
"Yes, Lt.?"
"The box is empty... and there is a hole in the lid."
"Oh, my! It chewed through the lid? Bad mousey!"
"Go get some more walnuts... And next time, put the mouse in a jar. Let's see it do its escape act from there!"
"Aye!"