Monday, April 29, 2024

Bitesize fiction. The man in the fridge

There is a man in my fridge. I found out just this morning, when I went to get some breakfast, opened the fridge door and there he was.

"Yes?" He glanced at me from next to the mustard.

"I... I'm sorry, should I have knocked?"

"No, that's quite alright. I'm decent."

"I see... But, may I ask, what are you doing here?"

"I guess you could say I'm just chilling," he winked.

I chuckled in return.

"You've got great taste in cheese." he commented politely.

"Oh, thank you! I do enjoy good cheese. Please, help yourself. It's right next to your elbow." It never hurts to be a good host.

"You are very kind. I shall a bit later. At the moment, I'm not hungry."

We sat for a little while in silence.

"Aren't you cold? Would you like a blanket? Or I could make you a spot of hot tea?" I offered.

"I'm fine, thank you! It is a bit nippy, but one gets used to it after a while."

"Do you plan on staying long?"

He looked hurt. "Are you suggesting I'm unwelcome?"

"No, not at all. But I rarely have house guests in my fridge. I'm afraid the accommodations aren't exactly comfortable."

"I do agree that you're rather low on cheese..."

I glared at him. "Well, Mr... Mr... I didn't catch your name."

"My name is not important."

"Then, how about why you're here?"

"Simple. You've got good cheese."

"That's no excuse for you to barge in my fridge uninvited like that."

"I do beg your pardon. When I arrived you were sleeping and I didn't want to impose."

"How considerate... So then, would you please come out of my fridge?"

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Oh, why not?"

"Who else will guard your cheese? If I leave, someone is bound to sneak inside your fridge and help themselves to your cheese!"

With that, he smiled merrily and pulled the fridge door shut.

Friday, April 12, 2024

Bitesize fiction. The apple thief


The apple. Round, shiny, red with a hint of yellow and possibly quite delicious. No, definitely delicious, as most apples tend to be at this stage. And absolutely tempting, a pair of beady eyes eyeing it with hunger.

The eyes blink and the nose under them sniffs deeply at the air. As if to get a feel for its prey, which is sitting on the table, oblivious of the danger it's in.

A small hop, then others following in quick succession. Swift and nimble, the creature is on the hunt, though there is no obstacle, no competition, between it and its prize.

It reaches the table and hides beneath it, its heart beating loudly in its little chest. At last! The apple it's been dreaming of, defenceless, within reach, oh my!

Cautiously, the predator lifts its eyes over the table's edge. The apple is there, inviting and desireable. With trembling hands, the apple thief reaches out. And hesitates. Dare it take this holy grail of all fruits?

But perhaps the apple wants to be eaten. Why else would it sit there, forgotten on a table at the end of the world? The apple... has been waiting. Maybe for just this little creature to snatch it up and bite into its juicy core. So the little apple thief smiles. There is no need for an apology. With sure hands, it takes the apple and disappears into the mist.

And all that remains is an empty table at the end of the world.