"I want to crush you like an ant." A long pause, interrupted by the sound of grit teeth. "Do you know how evil you are, how heartless?" There was no answer. "You drag me after you on an invisible leash, always tugging a little harder when I try to get away. Always ready to prove to me that I can't live without you."
The silence grew heavy, like a dusty old blanket thrown over reality. In the distance, a bird sung a few tentative notes, then went quiet.
"How can you have so much power over me? If you said 'leave everything and follow me', I would without hesitation and without question." The voice trembled, weary and defeated. "Every day, I wait for a clear, honest answer from you. I never get any... Only smiles, sweet nothings that probably mean nothing to you."
Footsteps, hurried, sounding as if they might have had a purpose, but instead, stopping and turning around, treading over the same spot over and over again.
"Don't, I know what you would say. You would be reasonable and calm. Tell me I should take care of myself and not worry over such nonsense. That you want me to be happy." The steps quickened. "Then you'd turn around and turn my heart inside out again. Just like you do every single time. I can't work, I can't eat, I can't sleep and when I do, I dream of you. Sweet dreams where life is so simple, where all my questions have answers and where I don't let myself get dragged around by you. And after that? I wake up and reality feels even colder."
The pacing stopped. The bird started chirping faintly outside. A smile.
"I want revenge, I want to break free. I want all my dreams to come true and finally be happy. I wish I'd never woken up this morning. Right after that part when you said 'I love you'."
Silence. Even the bird stopped singing. The world lay in expectation. And then, a gun shot.
Welcome to the jungle?
ReplyDeleteI hope you enjoy your stay ^^
A very dramatic piece of writing Lavi :D)
ReplyDeleteThis piece made my hackles rise! It's sinister, threatening. If I've read correctly between the lines, it's about an absusive, co-dependent relationship gone horribly, irreversibly wrong! That gun shot? Does it represent what I suspect? That either the abuser or abused has pulled the trigger to put an end to this loveless, lifeless existence? Scary stuff, Lavi...very dramatic, as Susan said!
ReplyDeleteI hope it was a good kind of dramatic :D
ReplyDeleteActually, the relationship isn't abusive, it's almost nonexistent. The person holding the monologue is obsessed over someone who can't love them and wants what's best for them, but unconsciously just leads them on. The road to hell is paved with good intentions... and paranoia.